Chutkule

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. 
My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, ''Who's that calling at this time?' ''I don't know! If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!''  
When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.   
Wife: Honey I'm pregnant. Me: Well.... what do we do now? Wife: Well, I guess we should go to a baby doctor. Me: Hm.. I think I'd be a lot more comfortable going to an adult doctor. 

Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" 
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."  
Husband: Honey, do u smell that? 
Wife: No. 
Husband: Yeah, me neither, start cooking.

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!  
Boy and girl: asked the teacher very important question? "can kids of our age have kids?" 
Teacher replied " NO Never!!" 
Boy said to girl : "see i told you not to worry!!!!  
God Joke
Without GOD, our week would be: Sinday, Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday & Shatterday. Remember seven days WITHOUT GOD makes One WEAK!! 
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