Immigrants Joke Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend. "Which part did you get?" Offensive Joke "Madam, your son just called me ugly!" The mother apologizes shamefacedly, "I'm so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look..." Horrible Joke One man's trash is another Man's treasure? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted. Death Joke Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?" "To the morgue." "What? But I’m not dead yet!" "And we’re not there yet." Dog J...
Waiter Joke Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. - And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?! Lawyer Joke I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore. Daddy Joke Daddy what is a transvestite? - Ask Mommy, he knows. Google Joke Q: Is Google a he or a she? A: A she, no doubt, because it won‘t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas. Barber Joke Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get a closer shave around my cheeks. I asked: “But what if I swallow the ball?” He replied: “No problem sir, you just bring it back tomorrow like everybody else.” Train Joke An optimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and thinks it’s an exit. A pessimist sees light at the end of a tunnel and assumes it is an onrushing train. The train conductor sees two stupid guys staggering on train tracks. Interview J...
Planet Joke Two planets meet. One moans to the other: “Can you believe it, I’ve got humans!” The other cheers her up: “Don’t worry, it will pass soon.” Guy Joke When a guy says he likes girls with a sense of humor, he doesn't mean that he wants a girl to be really witty and funny. He means he wants her to laugh at his jokes. Restaurant Joke "Our restaurant’s snails are world-famous.” “I know, one of them’s just been serving me.” Math Joke That awkward moment when your entire Math class is discussing whether the result is 15 or 16 and your answer is -1053. English Joke Proper spelling and grammar is very important and for instance a coma can totally change the meaning of a statement. Here’s an example: "Travis is in a rush." "Travis is in a coma." Dream Joke A guy wakes up in the morning and tells his wife: “Wow darling, you won’t believe what happened. I dreamt I was forced to eat a live sheep and now I can’t see my pillow anywhere!” - The ...
Comments
Post a Comment