Latest Jokes
Planet Joke
Two planets meet. One moans to the other: “Can you believe it, I’ve got humans!” The other cheers her up: “Don’t worry, it will pass soon.”
Guy Joke
When a guy says he likes girls with a sense of humor, he doesn't mean that he wants a girl to be really witty and funny. He means he wants her to laugh at his jokes.
Restaurant Joke
"Our restaurant’s snails are world-famous.” “I know, one of them’s just been serving me.”
Math Joke
That awkward moment when your entire Math class is discussing whether the result is 15 or 16 and your answer is -1053.
English Joke
Proper spelling and grammar is very important and for instance a coma can totally change the meaning of a statement. Here’s an example: "Travis is in a rush." "Travis is in a coma."
Dream Joke
A guy wakes up in the morning and tells his wife: “Wow darling, you won’t believe what happened. I dreamt I was forced to eat a live sheep and now I can’t see my pillow anywhere!” - The wife answers, “The pillow’s fine, it’s lying right there on the floor, but I have been calling our dog in vain for the past 5 minutes!”
Neighbor Joke
A guy asks his neighbor in an apartment building: “Mr Trepper, you live directly above me and you have the same 2-room apartment as I do. How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy when you moved in? “We got 18 rolls,” answers the neighbor. Two months later the guy meets his neighbor again and says, “It’s really funny – I put the wallpaper on everywhere and I still had 10 rolls left over.” Neighbor smiles, “Yeah, so did we.“
Silly Joke
The person who thought it’s a good idea to put the light switch outside of the bathroom clearly didn’t have any siblings.
Girlfriend Joke
That awkward moment when your girlfriend says she’s not hungry but ends up eating half of your food after you've just ordered for yourself.
Husband Wife Joke
My wife left me, went away. At first I was sad, lonely and didn’t know what to do with myself. But I bought a motorbike, threw a wild, loud party and got to meet some other women. I think my wife may not be so pleased when she comes back again from work.
Student Joke
My teacher asked me to characterize myself in 5 words.
“Quite lazy.”
Travelling Joke
A police officer stops a car and says: “Congratulations, sir! You are the 1,000,000th car to drive over this bridge – you win $10,000! What will you do with that money?” The driver gets very emotional and says, “First of all, I’ll finally make my driver’s license!” The wife cuts in, “Don’t listen to him, officer, he’s still drunk!” A hard-of-hearing granny from the back seat grumbles, “I knew we shouldn’t have taken the stolen car!” A voice from the trunk adds, “Hey, are we past the border now?”
Husband Joke
I played our wedding video backwards yesterday. It really cheered me up to see how I take the ring off my wife’s finger, get out of the church and go drinking with my best friends.
Car Joke
Driving a sports car and sticking to the speed limit is like going to McDonalds’ and having just the salad.
Credit Card Joke
Police officer: “Sir, I don’t understand. You lost the credit card a year ago, why are you reporting it now?” Guy: “The thief wasn’t spending nearly as much as my wife used to…” Police officer: “But why report it now?” Guy: “I think the thief’s wife got hold of it now.”
This is a post on latest jokes. This page contains the latest jokes that are intelligent and most liked by a vast audience of readers.
Two planets meet. One moans to the other: “Can you believe it, I’ve got humans!” The other cheers her up: “Don’t worry, it will pass soon.”
Guy Joke
When a guy says he likes girls with a sense of humor, he doesn't mean that he wants a girl to be really witty and funny. He means he wants her to laugh at his jokes.
Restaurant Joke
"Our restaurant’s snails are world-famous.” “I know, one of them’s just been serving me.”
Math Joke
That awkward moment when your entire Math class is discussing whether the result is 15 or 16 and your answer is -1053.
English Joke
Proper spelling and grammar is very important and for instance a coma can totally change the meaning of a statement. Here’s an example: "Travis is in a rush." "Travis is in a coma."
Dream Joke
A guy wakes up in the morning and tells his wife: “Wow darling, you won’t believe what happened. I dreamt I was forced to eat a live sheep and now I can’t see my pillow anywhere!” - The wife answers, “The pillow’s fine, it’s lying right there on the floor, but I have been calling our dog in vain for the past 5 minutes!”
Neighbor Joke
A guy asks his neighbor in an apartment building: “Mr Trepper, you live directly above me and you have the same 2-room apartment as I do. How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy when you moved in? “We got 18 rolls,” answers the neighbor. Two months later the guy meets his neighbor again and says, “It’s really funny – I put the wallpaper on everywhere and I still had 10 rolls left over.” Neighbor smiles, “Yeah, so did we.“
Silly Joke
The person who thought it’s a good idea to put the light switch outside of the bathroom clearly didn’t have any siblings.
Girlfriend Joke
That awkward moment when your girlfriend says she’s not hungry but ends up eating half of your food after you've just ordered for yourself.
Husband Wife Joke
My wife left me, went away. At first I was sad, lonely and didn’t know what to do with myself. But I bought a motorbike, threw a wild, loud party and got to meet some other women. I think my wife may not be so pleased when she comes back again from work.
Student Joke
My teacher asked me to characterize myself in 5 words.
“Quite lazy.”
Travelling Joke
A police officer stops a car and says: “Congratulations, sir! You are the 1,000,000th car to drive over this bridge – you win $10,000! What will you do with that money?” The driver gets very emotional and says, “First of all, I’ll finally make my driver’s license!” The wife cuts in, “Don’t listen to him, officer, he’s still drunk!” A hard-of-hearing granny from the back seat grumbles, “I knew we shouldn’t have taken the stolen car!” A voice from the trunk adds, “Hey, are we past the border now?”
Husband Joke
I played our wedding video backwards yesterday. It really cheered me up to see how I take the ring off my wife’s finger, get out of the church and go drinking with my best friends.
Car Joke
Driving a sports car and sticking to the speed limit is like going to McDonalds’ and having just the salad.
Credit Card Joke
Police officer: “Sir, I don’t understand. You lost the credit card a year ago, why are you reporting it now?” Guy: “The thief wasn’t spending nearly as much as my wife used to…” Police officer: “But why report it now?” Guy: “I think the thief’s wife got hold of it now.”
This is a post on latest jokes. This page contains the latest jokes that are intelligent and most liked by a vast audience of readers.
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