What Do You Call Jokes

Senior Citizen Joke
Congratulations on your 60th birthday! At last you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents!

Voice Joke
A meeting of the “Castrated Anonymous” - High-pitched male voice: "Welcome. I hope you all arrived safe and sound." - Deep male voice: "Yes." - High-pitched male voice: "You in the second row, please leave the room right now."

Girlfriend Joke
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. - Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest.

Life Joke
The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

Direction Joke
Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly? Just stand in the middle of the road for a while.

Waiter Joke
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, “Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die...”

Tea Party Joke
I took my wife’s family out for biscuits and tea. They weren’t very happy about having to donate blood though.

Knock Knock Joke
Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Well, not Lisa, that’s for sure.

Husband Joke
“I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years.” “Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!” “No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him.”

Son Joke
Son, "Mommy, mommy, daddy hanged himself in the attic!" Mother, "What??!!" Son, "Gotcha, April's fool! He hangs in the garage."

Wife Joke
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I’m digging in our garden.

Gift Joke
What did the man with no hands get for Christmas?
No idea. He hasn’t opened his present yet.

Divorce Joke
I want a divorce! - But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part. - I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you.

Woman Joke
A chubbier woman: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all? - Mirror: “Kindly move aside. I can’t see anything.”

Wife Joke
Doctor: And how is it going with your old ailment, Mr Smith? Patient: Very well, I’ve been divorced for half a year now.

Name Joke
A lady tells the nurse at a maternity hospital, “I want to call my little baby Ellie.” Nurse replies, “I’m sorry, but that name is already taken, perhaps you can consider naming her Ellie532 or Ellie_153?”

Girlfriend Joke
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I’ve only ever known and loved her as Christine.

Dad Joke
Daddy, there is a man at the door. He says he is collecting for the nursing home. - That's perfect. Tell him grandpa is coming in a moment.

This is a post on what do you call jokes.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kid Jokes

Grandson Joke At his birthday party, my grandson said, “I love you,” and I replied, “I love you, too.” Then he said, “I wish you were 5 years old like me so you would be around longer.” Cop Joke A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he’s topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can’t escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, “It’s been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I’ll let you go.” The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, “My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!” Musical Joke When my grandson Gavin was 4 years old, he loved to “play” the piano. Once, when he was done, we forgot to close the lid to the keys. As we walked by later he said, “I better close the piano or the boogeyman will play some scary songs.” Fishing Joke My son Ryan was 2 years old whe
Read more

Sexy Jokes

Sexist Joke I was looking for that thing that peels potatoes, apples and carrots. I’ve asked my kids if they had any idea. Apparently she left 2 days ago. Women Joke 1. You should have a woman who works at home, who cooks, keeps things tidy and has a job. 2. You should have a woman who can make you smile and laugh. 3. You should have a woman you can trust, a woman who never lies to you. 4. You should have a woman who is good in bed and enjoys spending time with you. 5. And you should always, always keep these four women from ever meeting each other. Winter Joke Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open. Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges first with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a hammer.” 15 minutes later, the wife texts back: “Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone.” Husband Joke My new wife left me because of my huge insecurity problems.
Read more

Clean Jokes

Alcoholic Joke How can they call it "Alcoholics Anonymous" when the first thing you do is you stand up and say, ‘My name is John and I am an alcoholic’? Funny Joke Pessimist: "Things just can't get any worse!" Optimist: "Nah, of course they can!" Peanuts Joke A nice old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He’s happy to take some. He asks her after a while why she isn’t having any herself. “Oh, young man,” she says, “they’re too hard on my poor teeth, I couldn’t.” “Why did you buy them at all then?” wonders the driver. “You see, I just love the chocolate they’re covered in!” Shark Joke A mom shark is teaching her son how to hunt swimmers properly. - “So, first you go and circle them making sure your fin is showing. And then you go at them full blast and eat them.” “OK, but why don’t I just go at them full blast and eat them right away?” “I guess you could, son, but would you really want to eat them with all that shit in their intest
Read more